Quotes from Children

 

photo from http://www.kids-kingdom.net

Kids say the funniest, most genuine things. They have what we call the ultimate sense of wonder, too! Here’s a collection of the things kids said that totally made me laugh or smile. 🙂 Some are from the books Just When You Think You Can’t Do It, Do It by Francis Kong and Kids Say The Cutest Things About Love by Dandi Daley Mackall. The others are words from the kids I know. Enjoy reading 🙂

“How do you break a heart if it’s inside?”
–Inggo, when he was 3 years old

***

“Why am I 40 pounds?!?! I think I should be 28!”
–Inggo, when he was 4 years old

***

Mom: Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet.
Son: Don’t kid me, Mom, they’re MY FEET.

***

Kindergarten Teacher: If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.
Student: How will that help?

***

Kid: We checked the litter and there are 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens.
Mom: How did you know that?
Kid: Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it’s printed in the bottom.

***

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.

Mom: Son, what are you doing?
Son: The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is broken. I’m looking for the seal.

***

Kid: My mother can predict the future.
Friend: Really?
Kid: Yup, she takes only one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when Daddy gets home.

***

A four year old was reciting the Lord’s Prayer:
“Lead us not into temptation, and deliver us some e-mail. Amen.”

***

A father was reading bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.”

Son: What happened to the F-L-E-A?

***

“I think I’m kind of a vegetarian.”
–Nica, 6 years old

***

ALL ABOUT LOVE

Question: What is love?

Answers

Kid 1: You’re going to have to ask mom cause she really knows about it.
Kid 2: Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making you give anything of theirs.
Kid 3: Love is like a bowl of jello. You feel all jiggly inside, and your knees get squishy when you try to stand up.

***

Question: What are the different kinds of love?
Answer: One is hugging. One is kissing. One is saying now.

***

Question: What does love feel like?
Answer: It feels really weird. Like you don’t even want to push in line in front of somebody. You just want to stand there with them, even if they’re in the back of the line.

***

Question: How do you spell love?

Answers

Kid 1: L-U-F, just like it sounds.
Kid 2: U-O-E-T-U. That’s it. There are lots of U’s in it.

***

Question: Where does love come from?
Answer: Love comes from people’s hearts. But God made hearts.

***

Question: How does love get to you?
Answer: My mom brings me mine.

***

Question: What’s the difference between LOVE and LIKE?
Answer: If like is “A”, love is the whooooole alphabet.

***

Question: What does it mean to be in love?

Answers

Kid 1: It has something to do with movies –especially drive ins.
Kid 2: If you hold hands and sit by each other in the cafeteria, you’re in love. Otherwise, you can sit across each other and be okay.

***

Question: Who loves you more than anybody?
Answer: I would have to say my rabbit because I can stick my finger in his cage and he doesn’t bite it off.

***

Question: How do you know your parents love you?

Answers

Kid 1: That’s easy. They love their other 7 kids, so I guess they gotta love me, too.
Kid 2: I know they love me because they hate pets. But they still let me have a rabbit, a cat, a dog, an iguana and about 11 fish.
Kid 3: My daddy holds me even when I’m dirty.

***

Question: How do you know your parents love each other?

Answers

Kid 1: Mom always gives dad the best piece of chicken.
Kid 2: They kissed once! I saw!

***

Question: Do your parents always love you?

Answers

Kid 1: They always love me, but sometimes, like when I don’t play ball in the living room — they have an easier time of it.
Kid 2: I think yes, but you’d have to ask to be sure. And don’t bring up anything to do with out cat, my little sister and a jump rope.
Kid 3: They don’t love soccer in the house, but they love me.

***

Question: Can you do anything to make your parents stop loving you?
Answer: No, sir. It’s the law. They gotta love me!

***

Question: How do you show you love your brother/sister?

Answers

Kid 1: I gave my brother a Valentine because I was sure nobody else would.
Kid 2: I know my sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out to buy new ones.
Kid 3: My dad says my sister loves me. My sister says she hates me. I still don’t know who to believe.

***

Question: What is your idea of a romantic date?
Answer: It’s when a girl puts on perfume, and the boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.

***

Question: Why do people say I LOVE YOU?
Answer: Sometimes, when your mom is really mad at you and you say I LOVE YOU, she’s not quite so mad.

***

Question: Have you ever been in love?

Answers

Kid 1: I think so, once. We were playing outside. I dumped rocks on her, and she dumped me back.
Kid 2: Yes, but I learned my lesson. We started up as friends, then became boyfriend girlfriend. And before I knew what happened, I didn’t have a girlfriend or friend.

***

Question: How do you know a girl loves you?
Answer: Her friends start to laugh whenever they see me.

***

Question: How do you know a guy loves you?

Answers

Kid 1: He won’t look at me, except maybe at my feet.
Kid 2: If you tell him you like his shirt, he wears it everyday.

***

Question: How can you make someone fall in love with you?
Answer: You either have to ignore them and act like they’re not alive or follow them around until they know you’re alive. It depends on the person.

***

Question: How can you make someone fall in love with you?
Answer: Act like you’re interested in football, and boys will follow you anywhere.

***

Question; What is the best love story you ever heard?

Answers

Kid 1: Once upon a time, there was my mom. And my dad met my mom. And they lived happily ever after.
Kid 2: The best love story I know was in an opera, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying!
Kid 3: Here’s a love story: Mom and Day got married. THE END!

***

Question: How do you decide who to love?
Answer: Most guys look at a girl’s hair, but not me. Some boys look at a girl’s teethm but they fall out. And you don’t know the rest because girls can gain like 50 pounds in one week (my sister did!). So I guess, I just love a girl if she’s friendly.

***

Question: Why do we give valentines?

Answers

Kid 1: They’re for people who are in love and want to make a big deal out of it.
Kid 2: Valentines can say stuff on them that we’d like to say ourselves but we wouldn’t get caught saying.
Kid 3: It’s a hearts and flowers holiday, but you still go to school.

***

Question: Do you have any advice for the lovelorn?
Answer: Just be yourself. Or if that doesn’t work, be somebody else, somebody she likes better than you.

***

Question: Do you know any secrets about love?
Answer: It usually ends up with two people being really mad at each others, and nobody hardly ever tells you that part.

***

Question: What does love at first sight mean?
Answer: It means some people look good until you see them up close.

***

Question: What does ‘All is fair in love and war’ mean?
Answer: It means that those two things are like the only two things the world ran out of rules for.

***

Question: How much does love cost?
Answer: You could get love for about $250 if you settle for a pet.

***

Question: What does ‘You always hurt the one you love’ mean?
Answer: It means my brother loves me a lot!

***

Question: Would you rather have love or money?
Answer: Love is better. If you get a lot of money, you can get robbed and end up with nothing. ut if you get a lot of love, robbers aren’t into that.

***

Question: How can you make yourself love somebody you don’t like so much.
Answer: When they fall down at recess, you help them. And that makes you love them a little.

***

Question: What would you tell the world about love?
Answer: If you want to learn to love better, why not start with a friend who hates you?

***

Question: Can love die?
Answer: You can break it, but it won’t die.

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One response

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