Viru S: Remember, life is a race. If you don’t run fast, you’ll get trampled. Let me tell you a very interesting story.. This is an astronaut pen. Fountain pens and ballpoint pens don’t work in outer space. So scientists spent millions to invent this pen. It can write at any angle, in any temperature, in zero gravity. One day, when I was a student the Director of our institute called me. He said, “Viru Sahastrabuddhe”. I said, “Yes, Sir”. “Come here”. I got scared. He showed me this pen. He said, “This is a symbol of excellence”. “I give it to you”. “When you come across an extraordinary student like yourself pass it on to him”. For 32 years, I’ve been waiting for that student. But no luck. Anyone here who’ll strive to win this pen? Good. Put your hands down. Shall I post it on the notice board?
Rancho: One question, Sir. Sir, if pens didn’t work in outer space why didn’t the astronauts use a pencil? They’d have saved millions.
Viru S: I will get back to you on this.
“Today, my respect for that idiot shot up. Most of us went to college just for a degree. No degree meant no plum job, no pretty wife, no credit card, no social status. But none of this mattered to him, he was in college for the joy of learning. He never cared if he was first or last.”
“Life is a race, Run fast or you’ll get trampled. Even to be born, one had to race 300 million sperms.”
Viru S: What is this?
Chatur: A koel bird’s nest, sir.
Viru S: Wrong. A koel bird never makes her own nest. She lays her eggs in other nests and when they hatch, what do they do? They throw the other eggs out of the nest, and competition over. Their life begins with murder, that’s nature. You are also like the koel birds.”
“Pursue excellence, and success will follow, pants down.”
Rancho: That day I understood that this heart scares easily. You have to trick it, however big the problem is. Tell your heart, ‘Pal, all is well. All is well.’
Raju: Does that solve the problem?
Rancho: No, but you gain courage to face it.
Machine Class Professor: What is a machine? Why are you smiling?
Rancho: Sir, to study engineering was a childhood dream. I’m so happy to be here finally.
Machine Class Professor: No need to be so happy.Define a machine.
Rancho: A machine is anything that reduces human effort.
Machine Class Professor: Will you please elaborate?
Rancho: Sir, anything that simplifies work or saves time, is a machine. It’s a warm day, press a button, get a blast of air. The fan. A machine! Speak to a friend miles away. The telephone. A machine! Compute millions in seconds. The calculator. A machine! Sir, we’re surrounded by machines. From a pen’s nib to a pants’ zip- all machines. Up and down in a second. Up, down, up, down…
Machine Class Professor: What is the definition?
Rancho: I just gave it to you, Sir.
Machine Class Professor: You’ll write this in the exam? This is a machine- up, down, up, down… Idiot! Anybody else?
Chatur Ramalingam aka ‘Silencer’: Sir, machines are any combination of bodies so connected that their relative motions are constrained. And by which means force and motion maybe transmitted and modified as the screw in its nut or a lever range turnabout a fulcrum or a pulley by its pivot etc. esp a construction more or less complex consisting of a combination of moving parts or simple mechanical elements as wheels, levers, cams etc.
Machine Class Professor: Wonderful! Perfect. Please sit down. Chatur Ramalingam aka ‘Silencer’: Thank you.
Rancho: But Sir, I said the same thing in simple language.
Machine Class Professor: If you prefer simple language, join an Arts and Commerce College.
Rancho: But Sir, one must get the meaning too. What’s the point of blindly cramming a bookish definition.
Machine Class Professor: You think you’re smarter than the book? Write the textbook definition, mister, if you want to pass.
Rancho: But there are other books…
Machine Class Professor: Get out!
Rancho: Ooh.. Why?
Machine Class Professor: In simple language- Out! Idiot! Machine Class Professor: So, we’re discussing about the machine…
Machine Class Professor: Why are you back?
Rancho: Sir, I forgot to take something…
Machine Class Professor: What?
Rancho: Instruments that record, analyse, summarize, organize, debate and explain information; which are illustrative, non-illustrative, hardbound, paperback, jacketed, non-jacketed, with foreword, introduction, table of contents, index that are intended for the enlightenment, understanding, enrichment, enhancement, and education of the human brain through sensory route of vision… sometimes touch.
Machine Class Professor: [confused] What do you mean?
Rancho: Books, Sir. I forgot to take my books. May I?
Machine Class Professor: Couldn’t you ask simply?
Rancho: I tried simply, Sir. It simply didn’t work.
With such fear of tomorrow, how will you live today?
For once, dump your fear, or on your deathbed, you’ll regret it. With a little courage, you could’ve turned your life around.
“Make your passion your profession, then work will become play.”
“How you feel, matters to me. Mr. Kapoor makes no difference. I don’t even know his first name.”
“I’ve always listened to you. For once, let me listen to my heart.”
“It took me two broken legs to get me up on my feet. Wasn’t easy to get to this attitude. You keep your job, i’ll keep my attitude.”
“Everything is fair in love and war, and this is World War III!”
“When I asked this question, were you excited? Curious? Thrilled that you’d learn something new? No. You all got into a frantic
race. What’s the use of such methods even if you come first? Will your knowledge increase? No, just the pressure. This is
college, not a pressure cooker.”
“Even a circus lion learns to sit in front of the whip, but you call such a lion well-trained, not well-educated.”
“We learned a lesson in human behavior. When you friend fails, you feel bad. When your friend tops, you feel worse.”
“Why publicize someone’s flaws? If your iron count is low, will the doctor prescribe tonic, or air your report on TV?”
Rancho: For school, you don’t need tuition money, just a uniform. Pick a school, buy the uniform, slip into class. In that sea of kids, no one will notice.
MM: And if I get caught?
Rancho: Then new uniform, new school
“When thrown out of one class, he’d slip into another. He said, “First year or fourth year, it’s knowledge. Grab it.”