Jokes: On Politics

 *** two funny political jokes ***

taken from Francis J. Kong’s Book “The Early Bird Catches The Worm but the Second Mouse gets the Cheese”

 I.

 Five surgeons are comparing notes. At the very core of their conversation is the question: Who makes the best patients to operate on?

 1st: Accountants — because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.

2nd: Electricians — everything inside them is color coded.

3rd: Librarians — everything inside them is in alphabetical order

4th: Construction Workers –those guys always understand when you have few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.

5th: You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest. There are no guts, no spine, and the head and bottom are interchangable.

II.

A busload of politicians were traveling down a country road when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.

A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the farmer where all the politicians are. The old farmer said he had buried all of them.

 Sheriff: Were they ALL dead?
Old Farmer: Well, some of them said they weren’t but you know how them politicians lie.”

Quotes: On Politics and Government

“One reason why history rarely repeats itself among historically conscious people is that the dramatis personae are aware of the second performance of the denouncement of the first, and their action is affected by that knowledge.”
–EH Carr

“This city is what it is because our citizens are what they are.”
–Plato

“I’d invite you all over, but you are not my equals. That may offend you, but it doesn’t matter because, once again, you are not my equals.”
–Unknown

“The consciousness of the poor permeates them with a profound sense of being oppressed and not simply because the rich oppress them but because it is poverty itself that oppresses them. Above all, being poor is being invisible; violence makes them visible. Of what good is democracy if it is not for the poor?”
–Ferdinand Marcos, New Society Of The Philippines

“When the rich make war, it’s the poor that die.”
–Jean Paul Sartre

 “The majority is never right, NEVER, I tell you! That’s one of these lies in society that no free and intelligent man can help rebelling against. Who are the people that make up the biggest proportion of the population – the intelligent ones or the fools?”
–Henry Ibsen, An Enemy Of The People

 “You don’t have to wait till your party’s in power to have an impact on life at home and around the world.”
–Bill Clinton

 “You don’t have to wait till your party’s in power to have an impact on life at home and around the world.”
–Bill Clinton